Tonight, Tonight

Today was, for those of you who don't know, the opening and closing day of the show that I was a part of this semester. I've talked about it a few times here, but essentially it's a cabaret consisting of numbers that are miscast. So, songs were gender bended (is that a word?), rearranged, all sorts of fun and fierce stuff. We had two official shows this evening, in fact I just returned from one of them! The two shows went over really well and we raised over $500 for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, which is really exciting. I was so honored to be a part of such an amazing group of people who are not only talented, but caring and loving people. It was a blast to put together, and even more fun to perform. I'm sure I'll be posting videos of the show on here soon! As of right this moment, I am writing this blog while getting dressed and taking a breath before our cast party, which should prove to be quite epic. Though, my voice is pretty much shot after belting everything this past week. Luckily, there's nothing big coming up and my voice is not shot for good so it should take a day to recover. Other than that, I just need to give a shout out to everyone in the cast and production team...so there it is.


As for the deeper part of this blog post, I had the opportunity last week to take a trip to the hospital with a friend who was having some issues. Luckily, everything is ok now, but this whole experience got me thinking. Beyond that, this week has been crazy stressful and there are things that I almost committed to doing that I shouldn't have even thought about. What I'm getting at is that sometimes as people we have to step back and admit that we, ourselves, are not the best choice or option to handle a situation. Human nature often overrules this common sense and makes our minds believe that we can be a hero in that moment. What truly is a hero? A hero is sometimes someone dressed in a silly costume flying around killing cartoon monsters, it's sometimes a person who wins against all odds and shows extreme amounts of courage and bravery, and sometimes its person who is able to "save the day" even if they're not the one to actually physically do it. The pat on the head is an amazing feeling no doubt, but it feels better inside to see someone happy, someone better, something solved and problems ceased, especially when you know that you enabled it to happen. Though, we can't confuse the word enable for something it's not. Enabling is sort of connected to this whole thing in that we often times feel the need to be the hero for someone else's problems. Thus, people begin to rely on others for almost everything, instead of being able to solve problems themselves. This act of enabling is something we often don't recognize until after the fact. And that's a great time to do it because then it's possible to learn from the things you've done. Keyword - YOU've done. You are in more control than you think you are, and you are the only person who can make decisions for you. There is only ONE constant in your life, and that is you. As hard of an idea is that is to grasp, it's important nonetheless. I talked about in the last post, but to expand, as people we can only rely on one person to be there the rest of our lives and that's ourselves. So, with that, don't rely on others to solve your problems. Take some initiative and try to do it yourself, but also, be able to realize when you need help from someone who knows what to do, not a friend who will do what you want. This sounds really hard, and somewhat complicated, and unfortunately it is, but it all happens in a matter of moments. It's a decision you make on the fly. So, keep it in the back of your mind. (Did that rhyme)


Sorry for digressing a bit, but now I'm off to party hardy with the cast and team of miscast. I am nervous, yet excited to see what the night holds.


All my love,

Matt

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Drink With Me

It's been almost a month since my last post, and I finally have the time to sit down and just write. Truthfully there's no way I could tell you everything that's been happening, so I'll pick out the good stuff and give you that. To start, when last I was in blog world I made two video-blogs (vlogs) which went over quite well. I thought about doing this one as a vlog, but decided there was too much ground to cover. Though, I have to give kudos to my brother Joey for helping me out. He had some great ideas which eventually formed into what the second video blog is. If I'm not mistaken, that took place during Tech weekend of Hansel & Gretel, the opera in which I was running the light board for. If you didn't know, I recently learned how to program the board and have since become a board operator here at school. In fact, something no one really knows yet, is that not only will I be programming the board for a lighting designer in our Tommy, one of our mainstage productions, I recently found out that I'm going to be doing a large portion of the actual lighting design for the freshman revue. I could not deliver this news with a more happy refrain. As soon as I arrived at school, it was a goal of mine to be able to design a show on the mainstage by the time I graduate, which was something that was very far out of reach because most of the time the school hires lighting designers from outside. Freshman revue, however hectic, will truly be a dream come true for me. I'll be performing and designing the show, so I can't wait to get started with all that. 

I also found out that I am going to have the opportunity to perform in a benefit cabaret called "miscast". It's essentially a cast of 12 or so kids performing songs and numbers that they could never perform in shows. Opposite sex, gender, race, type, all that stuff. The rehearsals have been fun to say the least, and I'm looking forward to our performances this weekend. In the show, I'm in a number of trios and group songs like "She's In Love" from The Little Mermaid, as well as an acoustic disney princess medley with 4 other boys. I'm sure they'll be videos to see, so keep your eyes peeled. I was lucky enough to have my mom come out to boston to visit me and my uncle, who was in Rhode Island at the time, and have her watch some rehearsals. If you ask anyone who's a performer, rehearsals are of course fun, but they are work, it's like a job. To see my mom sit in a room and smile at just the thought of hearing us sing is something that I hold close to my heart. It makes me happy to see how happy she gets when she's sitting in a simple rehearsal that we sort of take for granted. She was really blown away by the talent, and we were marking! Truthfully, every time she comes she's blown away, but she told me it was like all the leads from Glenbrook Musicals had come together and formed these people that were "fierce" as she would say. We had an amazing time driving around, sitting around, walking around, and just hanging around boston for a few days. I even got to stay in the hotel with her! 

The highlight of the trip had to be BoCo's annual Drag Show which she insisted on seeing. I have to admit I was fairly hesitant because it's not every day that your date to the show where all the boys are dressing up as women, is your mom. Nevertheless, we went and had an amazing time. She also, while visiting, had the chance to see the apartment that I am hoping to live in next year. It's currently occupied by a BoCo senior, but I can't give away any details or pictures until the deal is done. As soon as it happens, I'll be sure to post pictures and all that! To be honest, I think that's the most exciting things that have happened in the past 3 weeks. I've been working hard on posters and logos, freelance and now that I am officially apart of the student government here at school, I've been doing their stuff too. 

With all this going on, I have had some time to reflect on things and look at the big picture. Coming back to school was in fact very difficult for me. The adjustment back in to college life was harder than expected. I am more than happy to be here, of course, but sometimes your mind has a chance to slip back in to home mode, and you realize how much you left behind coming here. But that was revelation I made, I hadn't truly left anything behind. Everything that has happened up till now, is a large part of who I am. I am 18 years old for gosh sakes! I don't need to be worrying about the rest of my life when today's not even over. I realize I've said that before, but it's so important to know. With every day comes new opportunities, and new challenges, and new likes and gripes, and it's all part of it. There's been this terrible flu like thing sweeping school and I was working so hard not to get it, but even with all my efforts, I did attain the virus, the plague some are calling it. I was lucky enough not to have an awful case of it, but I still had to miss about a day of school. As much it sucked sitting in bed all day looking outside at the 50 degree weather and wishing I was out there, I knew that tomorrow was a new day. In fact, that next day I ended up helping out the Musical Theatre auditions and meeting a ton of extremely cool people. As corny or cheesy as it sounds, I have to sit back and say that I had no clue Friday morning, that Saturday not only would I be meeting prospective students, I'd be seeing the Justin Bieber movie with two of my lovely friends.

(If you didn't know I'm a huge Bieber fan!) No one can predict what tomorrow, or even today will bring. Embrace it all. Let the people around you continue to inspire and challenge and fuel every emotion conjured up in that chamber that we call our hearts. We are stronger and in more control than we think. A good friend once told me that we can only feel comfortable with others, once we are comfortable with ourselves. That doesn't necessarily mean like your sexuality, or political opinions, it means being comfortable with hanging out with you. Yourself. He gave me the advice to take some time for me and do something I loved. So I whipped out my guitar, and it felt better than I could have ever imagined it. That's not to say that now I am all comfortable with me, and I can live happily ever after. We are all a work in progress, always. For every single action we take there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you give, you will get. And if not today, than maybe tomorrow, or maybe in while, but you will get. So I'm going to keep on giving and soak in every little thing I get. The people who give to me, mean more than they know and have a really special place in my heard. You know who you are, and if you don't than you'll know by the fact that when I say I love you, I truly mean it. 

I realize now how long this post is probably going to seem, and how I sort of just ranted for a while, but hey, it felt good. And, if you don't want to read it, you don't have to! Thus, you have reached the end, and have read the whole thing, or at least skimmed it. Whatever works. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to read about my life, which sounds sort of odd. Before I go, I will send my love to all my friends back at home and in colleges and cities around the country, because now more than ever, I realize how important each and every one of you is. Thanks for everything so far, and here's to many more (I raise my bottle of smart water to you). 

Cheers mate.

Matt

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